you get mcdonalds, home of the ecoliburger.
I insert ecoli.

you get a cheese burger, and a milkshake, with fries

I insert Mcdonalds

You get ecoli again
I insert a yacht

You get a message stuck in a bottle.
I insert a notepad.

You get writer's cramp.
I insert a straw.

You get a shirt soaked with coke. (The vending machine was angry. )
I insert a collectors straw.

You get a Coke.

I insert Pepsi...

You get an ice cube tray.
I insert a Shakespearean play.

you get cleopatra
i insert broccoliguy

you get me!
I insert myself

You get missouri
I insert texas

You get Texas toast.
I insert a stale bagel.

You get a chipped tooth.
I insert a dentist.

You get a drill
I insert root canal

You get Kolobok

I insert a brownie

you get a pain in the gut
i insert a costly open operation

you get operation (as in the game 'Operation' by hasbro)

I insert a water balloon

you get a soaked shirt
I insert a cloud

You get a tornado
I insert a stormchaser

you get a towncrafter
I insert New York City

(lol, mayorm, how'd you know? I always wanted to be a stormchaser.)

You get rude cab drivers.
I insert a reuben sandwich.

you get arbys
I insert arbys

you get Wendy's
I insert the number 5

You get the number 10
I insert a tree

You get recycled paper.
I insert a brand new, cold hard copy of Machiavelli's The Prince.